So, this is an ad. But I love it anyway. It captures so nicely that rockin' feeling of going for something, giving it your all, and relishing the results. Just makes me smile. And reminds me how good it's gonna feel when I accomplish my fitness goals (Build muscle, lose fat, strengthen my cardiac system.)
Friday, February 18, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Sweet Victory
Remember how I was gonna have a smack down with this certain bit of the Bonneville Shoreline Trail? Well, I went for my first training run on it yesterday, and it turns out, the trail was not the issue. The trail is beautiful, inviting, and doable. Tough, yes, but doable.
My problem was all in my head. Some people say running is just as much psychology as is it physiology. I believe it. I had myself all worked up about this trail 'cause the first time I went I was unprepared, and the second time I went I had a scary experience. I was convinced the trail had it out for me; that if it had it's way, it would swallow me whole.
Yesterday, I saw a whole different side of that trail. The side that welcomes a runner looking for safe harbor from the noisy, stinky traffic. The side that invites a novice to push herself a bit farther so that she can see what lays ahead. The side that shelters deer, and birds, and probably tons more wildlife that I wasn't observant enough to notice.
I think I'll still run that Timp Shadows 5K, but not to conquer the trail. The trail never needed conquering, just acceptance. What I had to conquer was my self doubt, my fear, my assumptions.
I'm happy to report, the taste of that victory is sweet. :)
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| Rudy got to have a little horse ride with some nice 'cowboys' who came to ride the trail while Jason and the kiddos were waiting for me to finish my run. |
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| Nothing better than a little dirt on my running shoes! :) |
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| Rudy doing a post run stretch with me. |
The Look
Julia's gonna be a great mama: she's already got that "Are you sure you wanna do that?" look down pat. :)
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Rudy's Lullaby
I haven't been able to convince Rudy to sing this for the camera, or at all anymore, actually. But in this video he at least agreed to play the drum to accompany my singing of his lullaby.
He made this up one day for Julia, I think. She was fussing, Rudy was playing with some musical instruments and this is what he sang along to his one man band. I loved it, so I had him teach me the words and the tune, and I actually catch myself singing this to Julia quite often now.
He made this up one day for Julia, I think. She was fussing, Rudy was playing with some musical instruments and this is what he sang along to his one man band. I loved it, so I had him teach me the words and the tune, and I actually catch myself singing this to Julia quite often now.
A Good Day
Today was a good day.
It was the kind of day that reminds me how lucky I am to be living my life.
The day started out a little rocky with an ultra early wake up from Rudy following a long night with Julia, but all the grump I could muster melted away when I found a beautiful potted plant from Jason sitting on our dining room table.
This from the man who was gone 'till long after I fell asleep yesterday. From the man who I know has about 100 million things going on in his life right now and has zilch time to spent shopping around for a Valentine's gift for his wife who had already told him not to worry about being romantic in the slightest this year.
And yet, there the plant sat, in the middle of our uncleared dining room table, bringing beauty into that mess and most of all reminding me that Jason knows me better than anyone, and he loves me. That's about the most beautiful thing I can think of. So yeah, my day got better-fast. :)
I spent the day with Rudy and Julia pretending to be all sorts of exciting things-vikings, dragons, cats, giraffes...you name it, and we probably played it today. When things got a bit claustrophobic in the house, we headed outside to the beautiful weather. Just grabbed the diaper bag, a bottle of bubbles, and started walking, planning as we went. Wanna stop at the park? Great. Wanna head to the library? Awesome. How about the thrift store? Right-o. We rounded out the excursion with a final stop at Cafe Rio to order our all time favorite meal (ok, my favorite meal, but Rudy likes it alot too.) -the shredded chicken salad. By then I was tired, and so were my kiddos, so we sauntered home in the golden dusk, Julia sleeping in the Bjorn, Rudy munching on some post salad pretzels, and me just thinking to myself, "Yes. This is the life for me."
I love these kind of days. The ones where everything seems to be just how it should be, and all the troubles that loomed so heavy over me before just sort of melt away, even if just for a day.
I thank God for giving me these days, for reminding me how blessed I am-not in a "People are starving in Africa." guilty sort of way, but in a "Can you believe this is actually YOUR life?" sort of a way. It makes coming back to everyday worries manageable. It fills me up with hope and gratitude and perspective to see me through the rough days, when maybe there's just an uncleared dinner table waiting for me in the morning with no beautiful plant in sight. ;)
It was the kind of day that reminds me how lucky I am to be living my life.
The day started out a little rocky with an ultra early wake up from Rudy following a long night with Julia, but all the grump I could muster melted away when I found a beautiful potted plant from Jason sitting on our dining room table.
This from the man who was gone 'till long after I fell asleep yesterday. From the man who I know has about 100 million things going on in his life right now and has zilch time to spent shopping around for a Valentine's gift for his wife who had already told him not to worry about being romantic in the slightest this year.
And yet, there the plant sat, in the middle of our uncleared dining room table, bringing beauty into that mess and most of all reminding me that Jason knows me better than anyone, and he loves me. That's about the most beautiful thing I can think of. So yeah, my day got better-fast. :)
I spent the day with Rudy and Julia pretending to be all sorts of exciting things-vikings, dragons, cats, giraffes...you name it, and we probably played it today. When things got a bit claustrophobic in the house, we headed outside to the beautiful weather. Just grabbed the diaper bag, a bottle of bubbles, and started walking, planning as we went. Wanna stop at the park? Great. Wanna head to the library? Awesome. How about the thrift store? Right-o. We rounded out the excursion with a final stop at Cafe Rio to order our all time favorite meal (ok, my favorite meal, but Rudy likes it alot too.) -the shredded chicken salad. By then I was tired, and so were my kiddos, so we sauntered home in the golden dusk, Julia sleeping in the Bjorn, Rudy munching on some post salad pretzels, and me just thinking to myself, "Yes. This is the life for me."
I love these kind of days. The ones where everything seems to be just how it should be, and all the troubles that loomed so heavy over me before just sort of melt away, even if just for a day.
I thank God for giving me these days, for reminding me how blessed I am-not in a "People are starving in Africa." guilty sort of way, but in a "Can you believe this is actually YOUR life?" sort of a way. It makes coming back to everyday worries manageable. It fills me up with hope and gratitude and perspective to see me through the rough days, when maybe there's just an uncleared dinner table waiting for me in the morning with no beautiful plant in sight. ;)
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
I Found My Other "Must Run" Race!
So, I thought Hobble Creek Half was the one for me, but no. Oh HECK no!
Nothing against Hobble Creek, mind you, and if I win this race registration give away, I'll probably still run it, but if I can only spend my money in one place, this is the one for me:
(oh, and I'm lovin' this song, btw.) :)
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Riding the Wave
I keep thinking I'm outta the woods with this depression thing, and then I walk right into a tree.
Bummer.
I have found that my depression comes in waves. Each wave seems to have it's own unique intensity and angle that it's coming from. I'm learning how to ride them. I'm building the skills, and each wave seems to be more and more manageable. But I still get wet. Sometimes I even get water up my nose.
Today was wet sort of day. One of the things I have committed to myself to do on depressed days is to keep moving. Even if it feels like I'm moving through molasses, I just keep moving. Its my way of sticking it to the depression-of telling it that maybe it can change the way I experience my day, but it sure as heck can't change the things I do in my day. So even though I felt like I was playing with my kids through a haze, I still played. Even though my heart wasn't behind all the goofy faces I made at Julia, I still made them, and you know what? She still laughed. And so did Rudy. And life went on, depression and all.
Even though I really wanted to just change back into my jammers and hibernate in the house all day, I bundled up the kids and went to play group. And I fixed three nutritious meals (even though I had a 15 minute debate within myself about whether I should just count the giant carton of fishies Rudy and I were nibbling from as dinner.) And I cleaned out the litter box, and framed some pictures.
And just to prove to my depression that it wasn't getting the best of me, I made that phone call to Medicaid I'd been putting off for 2 weeks. And I didn't even have to wait on hold for 45 minutes like I usually do! I was actually helped within 2 minutes of dialing the number. That has NEVER happened to me before. And so I smiled. And I thanked God. And I stuck it to my depression.
So, even though Julia was a bit more fussy today (When I'm depressed, I seem to lose my usual "maternal instincts" that help me keep a step ahead of her needs-so she has to alert me to them-like-"Hey Mom! I needed to eat/sleep/be changed ten minutes ago!")and even though my fuse was a bit shorter with Rudy than it usually is, I still mothered them. I still loved them, and they still loved me back. And maybe tomorrow I'll stay a bit more dry, but if I don't, I'll just keep moving. And life will keep rolling, and some day, I really will be outta the woods, and then I'll look back on them, and see how beautiful they are (from a distance). ;)
I love this quote:
"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now."
--William Hutchinson Murray, The Scottish Himalayan Expedition
That is so true. I am committed to finding and retaining greater peace than I've ever yet experienced. Greater happiness, greater satisfaction in life. And every time I really, truly reach for it, Jesus is right there with me; guiding me, strengthening me, opening the path before me.
Bummer.
I have found that my depression comes in waves. Each wave seems to have it's own unique intensity and angle that it's coming from. I'm learning how to ride them. I'm building the skills, and each wave seems to be more and more manageable. But I still get wet. Sometimes I even get water up my nose.
Today was wet sort of day. One of the things I have committed to myself to do on depressed days is to keep moving. Even if it feels like I'm moving through molasses, I just keep moving. Its my way of sticking it to the depression-of telling it that maybe it can change the way I experience my day, but it sure as heck can't change the things I do in my day. So even though I felt like I was playing with my kids through a haze, I still played. Even though my heart wasn't behind all the goofy faces I made at Julia, I still made them, and you know what? She still laughed. And so did Rudy. And life went on, depression and all.
Even though I really wanted to just change back into my jammers and hibernate in the house all day, I bundled up the kids and went to play group. And I fixed three nutritious meals (even though I had a 15 minute debate within myself about whether I should just count the giant carton of fishies Rudy and I were nibbling from as dinner.) And I cleaned out the litter box, and framed some pictures.
And just to prove to my depression that it wasn't getting the best of me, I made that phone call to Medicaid I'd been putting off for 2 weeks. And I didn't even have to wait on hold for 45 minutes like I usually do! I was actually helped within 2 minutes of dialing the number. That has NEVER happened to me before. And so I smiled. And I thanked God. And I stuck it to my depression.
So, even though Julia was a bit more fussy today (When I'm depressed, I seem to lose my usual "maternal instincts" that help me keep a step ahead of her needs-so she has to alert me to them-like-"Hey Mom! I needed to eat/sleep/be changed ten minutes ago!")and even though my fuse was a bit shorter with Rudy than it usually is, I still mothered them. I still loved them, and they still loved me back. And maybe tomorrow I'll stay a bit more dry, but if I don't, I'll just keep moving. And life will keep rolling, and some day, I really will be outta the woods, and then I'll look back on them, and see how beautiful they are (from a distance). ;)
I love this quote:
"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now."
--William Hutchinson Murray, The Scottish Himalayan Expedition
That is so true. I am committed to finding and retaining greater peace than I've ever yet experienced. Greater happiness, greater satisfaction in life. And every time I really, truly reach for it, Jesus is right there with me; guiding me, strengthening me, opening the path before me.
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