Today I stood in a radiology room holding Rudy in one arm and a phone in the other as my doctor explained to me that what the radiologist had found was an inviable pregnancy. Apparently, the egg that started this journey didn't have all the DNA it needed to finish it, so it simply stopped growing.
I called Jason at work while I walked around the little walking path in the grounds of the hospital I was at. I always thought those walking paths were a good idea. Today I was absolutely grateful for them. This way, I could stroller Rudy around and cry without him worrying about Mommy's owies.
Luckily, Jason's work was great and let him come right home to be with me. We took Rudy to the park and absorbed the news, or tried to anyway.
My mom and I were talking the other day about trials, and she said something that really rang true to me. She said that really, at the end of the story, everything will be ok. It's ok for us to have sorrow, disappointment, pain. It's ok and it's important. It's how we grow, how we become better human beings.
I kinda liked where I was at, but I guess it's my turn to grow. I know that the Lord knows me. He knows my heart and my sorrows. I know He can help me to heal, if I let Him. He can help me become the person He knows I can.
3 comments:
I'm sorry that you are hurting. I know how painful a miscarriage can be, I too have gotten that call from the doctor. I will be praying that both you and Jason will find the comfort you need and that you will feel how much you are loved by your Father in Heaven.
So sorry to hear this!
I'm so sad to hear your news. Please know that you & Jason are in our thoughts & prayers. We love you, Kimberly & Chandler.
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