Another First to Add to the Record

Rudy did his first poop on a public potty today. Maybe I'm too sentimental about bodily functions, but it's kinda cool to me that he chose the public library as the place with which to share this honorable moment of personal history. :)

We're not even really potty training, he just asks to sit on the potty when he feels like it, which is usually about twice a week, tops. Today he sat on our home potty twice and the library's once. Maybe he feels ready to leave the diapers in the dust-we'll see. (He also peed on the kitchen floor today, least you think he's precocious.)

He's really growing up. I know I say I can't believe it almost every other post, but it's true. It's wild to see my tiny little baby not be so tiny any more.

I can't believe that this time last year, we were still working on the sounds animals make. Now he makes jokes that are actually funny!

Babysitting Mama!

Wahoo! I'm a babysitting Mama! I've been at it for 3 full days now, and I'm really LOVING it! Why didn't I do this a long time ago? Oh yeah, the whole 800 square foot condo thing..

I'm sitting the sweetest little 13 month old girl ever. She is great-and her temperament fits so well with our family. If and when I get permission from her parents to post her pics on here, you'll see for yourself just how sweet she is. Her parents are a dream to work with too...I'm actually a bit worried I'll be spoiled for life by these guys. :)

The only hard thing?

Rudy. Not that he's hard-he's his normal awesome self. Just as his Mama, I worry about him. Does he feel ok? What's going on in that sensitive little heart of his? Does he feel just as loved today as he did last week? Sigh. It's an inevitable issue-we don't plan on staying a one child family-but it's still hard. So far he just loves his new playmate to pieces and is kind and nurturing with her, but he looks forward to her nap time just the same, when he and I can have special 'us' time and do things we wouldn't with a baby around. Like play with marbles or pop popcorn in the air popper. I think the little girl, I'll call her Sweet Pea, feels the same. She loves Rudy, but savors the just us time we get when he's napping, when we can look at just the books she wants to, play lap games, etc.

I'm trying not to be neurotic about it-I totally believe kids pick up on your worries and I'd rather not plant the seed of worry in either child's heart. But sometimes it's hard.

Like today, when I watched my little man tumble down the stairs, as I followed, one step behind, cradling Sweet Pea safely in my arms. I felt terrible, my worrisome heart planting major guilt squarely on my shoulders, yelling that if I'd not have had Sweet Pea in my arms, I could have some how stopped Rudy from falling.

Luckily, and blessedly, The Comforter was not far behind us all in that dash down the stairs. Sweet Pea watched me cradle Rudy, concerned, but fine to be on her own while Rudy received the hugs and kisses and rocking that he need and I needed to give. And almost as soon as those accusing thoughts attacked me, they were replaced with a calm assurance that I did all I could to keep Rudy safe, and with or without Sweet Pea, I could not have done any more. I was comforted so that I could administer calming comfort to Rudy, and he recovered quickly. Aside from a minor bruise on his knee, he's no worse for the wear. He never even bonked his head, doing pretty much a barrel roll down the stairs. Things could have turned out SO much worse, but they didn't, and for that I am grateful.

Ah, life is full of adjustments. Never ending adjustments. I guess it's what keeps things interesting. Hopefully we'll be adding another child to the mix (as in babysitting child- this is by no means an announcement) ;) sooner than later, and then we'll make more adjustments.

I have felt plenty of confirmations that taking in some sitting kids is the right and good thing to do right now. I know it will bless us financially, but somehow, I feel like it will bring so many other, more important blessings into our lives, or the lives of the families I sit for, or both. I know I'll be blessed to know how to provide for these kids, Rudy included, a feeling of safety, comfort, and belonging in my home. I just need to keep my heart open, and free of fear.

Rudy's First Real Solo Prayer

Rudy's been trying to say prayers by himself these last few days. They keep turning out empty in the middle. ("Heavenly Father......Jesus Christ, Amen!)

This evening, I gave him a little coaching to remind him to thank Heavenly Father for something. All I did was tell him- don't forget the "I thank thee for...." part. This was his prayer:

"Heavenly Father...I tank tee for....Grandpa....and Grandma....Jesus Christ, Amen!"

I don't know who was prouder, him or me. I can't believe how fast he's growing up!

Thankful

I've had a whole bunch of emotions as I've read about and listened to news about the destruction in Haiti.

Sorrow. Confusion. Guilt. Gratitude.

My heart aches for those who are living through the helplessness of being stranded in the midst of destruction, unable to even properly identify and bury their loved ones. Unable to discover the whereabouts of family members. Lacking food, water, shelter, reason for hope. I can't imagine the magnitude of this experience for them. I pray for them. I gave what we could to them, feeling guilty for not giving more. How can I say I need grocery money when they need clean water and medical attention?

Several nights ago, I teared up as I tucked my sleeping little one back under his warm blankets. The cold wind howled outside, but otherwise had no effect on our comfort. I thought of the many families right here in Utah who may be shivering in their car or some other insufficient shelter right then. And of the thousands of parents unable to provide that kind of protection to their children in Haiti, and around the world.

And yet, somehow, I have to keep living my life, keep moving forward, recognizing that this sorrow is not my own, but someone else's. Believing that the Atonement truly can make all things whole again, and trusting the Lord to be at these people's sides, succoring them as only One who has truly suffered for all can.

My eyes have been opened wide about what I'm blessed with. A beautiful, healthy family. A sound home, which protects us from the elements and gives us a place to gather and bask in each other's company. Good, nutritious food. Clean water at the twist of a handle, as hot or cold as I please. A safe community. Every shopping convenience I could hope for within walking distance. Internet access. This list could go on for a LONG, long time.

I will try to show more gratitude for these blessings. I will try to share more with my brother. I will try to be a better steward over the things the Lord has seen fit to place in my life.

Washing Dishes

If only I could consistently get as much pleasure out of doing the daily chores as Rudy does. Here's a video I took of my little man, who decided to rewash all the dishes from breakfast- just for kicks. It was so cute as I watched him play out the steps of dish washing over and over again, solidifying in his quick little mind yet another skill. His ability to learn impresses me!

Snow Man!

At last, we had good snow man snow on a day we had time to do something about it! Rudy and I (but mostly I) crafted our glorious snow man with photo documentation plus nose and eyes being contributed by Jason.

Rudy was mostly content to just sit in the snow and watch as I rolled lopsided orbs all over the lawn. A couple of times he gave a ball a pat or push, but mostly just gave me a move by move rundown of what I was doing. ("Mommy's rolling snow! Mommy's making snow ball!) I tried to get him super stoked about the fact that we were creating our first ever real snowman together, but he just didn't see the significance of the moment.

Now, however, he is very proud of our bug eyed snow man. He looked out the window several times today to announce that there is a snow man in our yard, and that he and Mommy made it. And when we drove into the drive way after running errands this evening he added to his usual, "Rudy's House!" announcement, "there's my snowman!"

Ah, the joys of winter, decent health, and a bit of land to call our own.

New Life

I stared into my first 'blood' niece's eyes yesterday. There's something a bit different when one of my own siblings becomes a parent, versus on of Jason's. I share a lifetime of history with my brother, and somehow seeing him holding his little daughter meant so much more to me.

Their baby came a little more than 3 weeks earlier than they expected her, but it seems to have more to do with the estimated due date than the actual maturity of the child. She's doing great, behaving like a babe that had plenty of time in her mommy's belly. What a blessing!

I'm so awed at the miracle of life. The progression of life. The beautiful gift we are given to have the chance to become parents, uncles, aunts, grandparents.

To Jake and Kirstyn: Welcome to parenthood. You are both beautiful parents already!

To Michaela: Welcome to the family, sweet pea. You are surrounded by a whole community of people who love you to pieces, and that's not a bad start at all. ;)