I've been writing this post in my head off and on almost since we got Ty. Every time I contemplated sending him home, this post would pop into my head, but I never got around to writing it...until today.
Today was our first Ty free day, and let me tell you, it was bliss. Nothing like adding a 6 month old lab pup to the mix to really build your appreciation for just how uncomplicated life was before him.
We ate breakfast today, and I didn't have to sit on the edge of my chair, ready to snatch up the food Sweet Pea dropped every second and a half, or correct Ty for approaching the kids at the table, or remind him that he's supposed to be on his 'spot', or worry about whether it would be ok to dash into the kitchen for a spare fork and leave Ty alone with two toddlers and a table full of food. Sigh. It was heavenly. I actually ate.
And after breakfast, I left the mess on the table (and the floor) and actually got Eden down for a nap without sweating. I never had to worry about if the dog would start barking at just the wrong time. (Actually, just about any time a dog barks in my house is the wrong time.)
I actually had physical and mental energy to enjoy mothering and housekeeping today. Imagine that!
The whole day went on with little moments of gratitude on my part to have my life back.
Anyway, I'm glad Ty's not with us anymore, but the decision making process and then following through with the decision was heart wrenchingly horrible.
Let's just say that what began with a mutual understanding that we were not ready to provide all the nurturing that a growing pup needs turned into what felt like a really messy breakup by the time Ty was driving off with his family. Monday was full of barking, yipping, howling, crying, screaming, and seething. But its over, and everyone's happy again. Whew.
And the cool thing is, after getting my "Come get your dog this very instant" phone call, the owners pressed their landlord a little more, and he/she has agreed to allow the dog to stay with them-which is great. They have a fenced backyard and everything-it's a great set up for a dog, and now Ty gets to grow with his real family instead of his foster family. So I guess sometimes messy breakups are good. Without the mini-crisis, we may have just kept fostering Ty, and he'd have spent 6 to 12 months that he could have been with his family being fostered instead.
Despite all the drama involved in this experiment, I'm so glad I embarked on it. I've learned TONS. Here's a little glimpse of what I learned...I'm sure I won't be able to cover all of it.
1) 40 pounds is a good size for me...not 40 pounds and growing.
2) taking care of a puppy is intense. Like taking care of twin infants with colic or something.
3) Walking with a well trained dog is a beautiful thing. Especially if you did the training together.
4) I'll be going with a non-shedding breed in the future, thank you very much.
5) I can be displeased with a behavior and still maintain a calm assertive attitude. A great skill for working with toddlers (and people in general, actually). :)
6) I need to share more responsibilities with my husband. (And sharing doesn't mean micro managing the things I 'assign' him to do.)
7) Even I, the animal lovin', pet nurturing queen, have my limits.
8) I need to live in the moment a little more. Forget past grievances, disregard "what if" scenarios...just be...right now...in the moment.
9) I'm definitely a dog person...just not a young family with a dog person. I'm looking forward to bringing home a puppy after dropping my last child off at college or the MTC. Maybe sooner, but for now, that seems like a great time to try this energy sucking experiment out again.
10) Cats are marvelous, practically self maintaining creatures. I've been super grateful for Rufus's low maintenance and easy to live with qualities lately. :)
11) When brushing a dog, remember not to wear fleece pants (or fleece anything for that matter).
12) I like to walk...alot.
13) I am NOT the dog whisperer. :)
Sigh. I'll miss the fun times we had with Ty. The long morning walks, Rudy and Ty being so cute together, rubbing Ty's belly after a fun play session. Even brushing him in that quiet, before bed time. But not the barking. Not the constant stress of trying to balance my energies in all the right places. Not the being on alert 24/7 for training 'opportunities'. Not the hair. Not the poop.
8 comments:
Glad you have your life back and that it all worked out! Sorry to hear though that you've decided not to embark on a career as the next Dog Whisperer... ;) I had no idea dogs were so much work—it was eye opening to read all it takes to train a puppy and keep it happy and healthy! Wow!
I'm glad you got this experience. As difficult as it was, I'm sure you've learned some important life lessons. I got Jasmine as a puppy, but that was before John and I were married, so I had plenty of time to train her. Unfortunately, we got Oliver while I was pregnant with Michael, and after struggling with him for 2 years, we had to give him up. There are times in your life when you have more time to dedicate to training a puppy, and there are times to focus on other, more important things. I too am an animal lover, and it has weighed on my mind that as Jasmine is getting older, and my family is still young and growing, it will probably be a long time before I'm ready to take on another puppy. I will be very sad when Jasmine is gone, and I'm sure I'll be tempted to get another puppy, but I'll try to remember Oliver and Ty as reasons to have a little patience. Thanks for sharing your story! You always show a great deal of insight in your various situations, and I love to learn and grow along with you!
P.S. Yes cats are A LOT easier than dogs! I never thought I was much of a cat person, but I have to say, they're growing on me.
All my attempts and efforts, my subtle hints and patient empathizing, all hopes of opening Bonnie up to the possibility of having a dog in some future day, shattered. Trampled. Dead.
Perhaps time will make her forget this post and experience. Perhaps the kids will be able to penetrate her guard. Or perhaps, I will never own a dog again.
(Note the overly-dramatic tone and hints of sarcasm. =) )
My deepest sympathies, Matt. ;)
There's always the off chance that when you're empty nesters you won't be globe-trotting on senior missions and then you could finally get that dog, when you're retired, and can do all the dog duties (training, grooming, scooping poop, walking, vacuuming up all the hair, cleaning up after muddy paws, etc. etc. etc.), for real. Good luck. :) Maybe you could convince Bonnie to get a puppy when she's insanely grandchild hungry but attempting not to meddle too much in your children's family planning. Maybe.
Happiness fills my soul for you triumph. The pictures are adorable though....one day a dog will be perfect for your household.
After seeing you - I can tell that a weight has been lifted. Dogs may be great, but when they're too stressful, it kind of ruins the entire experience. I'm sure there is a time and a place for that in your life...but for now, I'm glad things are back to normal for you!
Wow. How great you got to "try it out" before you actually got a dog of your own at this point in your life. Wouldn't that have been crappy to pay for a puppy (and all the stuff that they need) only to figure out it was a little too much to handle at this particular moment?
I totally agree with you about cats. Especially right now in our life. If I wanted to a pet, it would be a cat. They offer the living, breathing, furry thing in your home, but they are minimal work.
Okay, THANK YOU for having that experience for us. I keep telling Jeremy that cats are super low maintenance and that I have less than zero desire to have a dog with little kids around, so I can refer to this nice post here in the future if Jeremy ever gets the dog vibe. Actually, after all of the horrible dog fur that the previous owner left in our house (among other dog love spots on the carpet - glad for carpet cleaners), I think we are feeling fairly averse to pets right now. I love animals, just maybe not at this time of our lives. :)
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