I've been in a deep thought mood lately. I don't know if everyone is like this, but I tend to have little awakenings periodically through my life. Times when I begin to sense that there is more to life than what I'm currently experiencing. Those times are beautiful, because they invite me to seek for more, to stretch my definitions of success, and gain a heightened awareness of life and the world around (and within) me. Sigh.
So I've been basking (and squirming a bit) in one of those awakenings for the last few weeks. I've read some books that have prodded me on in my pondering. One was a biography of Sojourner Truth. The author, Nell Painter, did a fabulous job of separating the woman from the legend. It was wonderful to see Sojourner as she really was-human-instead of some kind of all knowing, all powerful saint. It did not diminish what she did nor what she stood for. Rather, made it all the more inspiring to me that she, an imperfect woman who was learning along the way like all the rest of us, was able to make a positive difference in a world largely hostile to her. Her story solidified to me the reality that the most important thing to do is press forward in the cause you believe in, not fret about wrong turns you've made in the past. She reminded me that it's ok to make course corrections on my journey through life, and that I don't have to know everything about who I am or what I stand for from the get go. I just need to be who I am right now, face myself in the direction I want to go, and enjoy the ride.
That's where yogurt comes in. And Rudy. I'm telling you, that little guy is one of my greatest sources of education lately. The things he teaches me are so wonderful, so relevant, and so deep, I feel like I've got my own personal Yoda tagging along with me all day. :)
Today Rudy was really interested in feeding himself. As I watched him struggling to get the yogurt on the spoon, and the spoon to his mouth without losing the yogurt along the way, I thought. "Wow. I really take eating for granted! That must be so frustrating!" And then I realized that Rudy was the exact opposite of frustrated. He was fascinated. Enthralled. Focused. Happy! The kid was having about 40% success rate at his chosen task, and he was absolutely giddy with himself. Huh. That got me thinking, and I realized that Rudy was more concerned with the process of feeding himself than he was about the result. In the end, his tummy was full of scrumptious yogurt, but that was not his main goal. His main goal was to practice his spoon shoveling technique. Because of this, he was not concerned about how much yogurt got from the cup to his mouth, just that he was practicing.
Maybe I can figure out how to apply that in my life. Could I refocus my goals on processes instead of outcomes? Then I wouldn't have to waste so much of my time feeling frustrated that I haven't achieved "perfect" fitness, built a respectable nest egg, and created the ideal home atmosphere for my family. Then I could relish the fact that I am increasing my fitness, learning to manage money, and building our house into a home. Then I could be happy right where I am. Hmm. Sounds good, huh? I think I'll face myself in that direction, and start smiling about it now. :)
"Patience and zeal you must have. Only then can the force with you be." :)
1 comment:
yes...I like this idea very much.
2. Sorry about your poop story, but I have come to realize (as I'm sure you have also) that it comes with the mommy-territory.
Nasty encounters with poop-this is what mom's do.
3. If I was a beta, I would want to belong to you. Our two betas lived in tiny glass bowls, and their water was changed about once a month (if they were lucky). I need not tell you, they did not live long.
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