The Quest of the Three Snail Brothers

(This is Jason posting)
So, over the last week or two Rudy had become increasingly interested in the snails that inhabit the shrubbery around out Condo. This is a story that grew out of many of our early morning constitutionals (walks) around the complex we live in. We began seeing a large number of snails, slugs, pill bugs, and other insects. And I, just on an impulse, began giving them silly names and we started creating a silly little narrative to go along with the characters we had created. Maria was so impressed that she insisted that I add it to the blog.

So here is the story of "The Quest of the Three Snail Brothers"

Once upon a time there was a magical snail kingdom deep in the shrub forest, called Sneeb. It was a peaceful land where all slugs, snails, and other Gastropods lived in harmony and joy. This land was ruled by a wise king, named King Snorkle IV. All who lived in Sneeb were happy and content.

But there was one who fought against happiness and wanted to destroy King Snorkle and enslave all in his lands. This was the evil wizard Archimertyl; the dark necromancing pill bug. Archimertyl despised peace. Archimertyl hated the smell of happiness. To Archimertyl happiness smelled just like old stinky socks, or fish that lay in the sun for too long. Archimertyl couldn't come near Sneeb because it reeked of so much happiness. So Archimertyl devised a plot to end all happiness and joy in Sneeb. A plan to make King Snorkle so sad he would frown forever.

One of the things which made the citizens of Sneeb, and especially King Snorkle, the happiest was the beautiful slug princess Wobble-di-gong. She was fairest, kindest, and slimiest of all the citizens of Sneeb. Archimertyl sent his two henchmen, the snail cousins Dinkus and Dorkus, to kidnap the princess; and bring her to his lair far from the shrub forest.

When the king learned his fair daughter had been taken, he searched the land of Sneeb for champions to rescue princess Wobble-di-gong. From branch to bramble and from root to leaf word spread of the call for brave slugs and a rescue quest. However, though all who lived in Sneeb loved Princess Wobble-di-gong, few had enough courage to step forward and set forth; for the journey was long and perilous.

Then, from a small moss and mushroom farm on the far edge of the shrub forest came three snail brothers; their names were Artimus, Sasifras, and Fliber-di-jibit.

Artimus, the oldest brother, was the wisest and cleverest, perhaps of all snails in Sneeb.

Sasifras, also called Sasifras the fast, had never been out skooched in any race.

Fliber-di-jibit was the youngest, and strongest, of the three. Tales told that Fliber-di-jibit had once lifted a twig that an entire ant colony had failed to move.

The three bothers left Sneeb early in the morning and their first stop was to visit the blind earthworm oracle Larpni. The three brothers crouched waiting in Larpni's small tunnel for his prophesy. After a moment of squirming the oracle told them of the path they would have to travel. The three snail brothers would first have to cross the great green jungle of Nwal, then they have to cross the desert of Cong Krete in order to reach Archimertyl's lair deep in the valley of Breezey Waye.

Valiantly Artimus, Sasifras, and Fliber-di-gibit continued on their quest. The jungle of Nwal was filled with thick towering green stalks of vegetation; and it was home to The Forlax. The Forlax was a large growling monster covered with a hard shell on top and an insatiable mouth underneath. The Forlax's stubby round legs couldn't bend, so it ate by sucking in and chopping up its food using the two huge sharp teeth that spun at the center of its gaping mouth. The Forlax dined primarily on plants; but it wasn't picky, it would eat anything that was foolish enough to wander into the powerful vortex created by its spinning teeth.

The three brothers, however, were not scared. Artimus, being wise, knew the monster only came out to feed when the plants in Nwal grew long and tall enough for its mouth to reach. And Sasifras, being quick, darted ahead and behind listening for the monstrous thunder that the beast made when it fed. And Fliber-di-jibit carried with him a rock, which he held ever ready to throw at the monster's teeth if necessary. In this way, the three snail brothers traveled safely through the jungle of Nwal.

As they reached the edge of the forest their eyes first beheld the barren wasteland of Cong Krete. Their mouths gaped open as the featureless desert seemed to extend forever. They paused only for a moment, however, and soon the three snail brothers slimed their way forward bravely but cautiously. For all three of the brothers had heard of the danger that lurked in the Cong Krete wasteland; it was the traveling route of the Hyumeans.

Hyumeans were gigantic, much bigger than the Forlax. They were so tall that you couldn't even see their heads. Some snails even doubted if they had heads, because they didn't appear to be able to see where they were going. A hyumean could squish a whole family of snails, and not even seem to notice what had happened.

There were three kinds of Hyumeans: the Means were the tallest, and had feet so large that they could crush an entire snail village in one step. The Wo-means were slightly smaller, but they often had tall claws on their heels that would stab deep into the ground. And the most dangerous of all were the Chilled-reans. These Hyumeans were considerably smaller than the Means and Wo-means; but they were often the most dangerous. Chilled-reans often sought out and squished poor little snails on purpose, or they would place a snail in a great clear prison and watch as it wasted away without food, water, or even air.

It seemed like forever, even for Sasifras the fast, before the three reached the valley of Breezey Waye, domain of Archimertyl. But it wasn't long before they were face to face with Archimertyl himself. Before any words could be said Archimertyl unleashed his two henchmen Dinkus and Dorkus who attacked the brothers. With lightning slug speed Sasifras slimed swiftly past Dinkus and gripped in his mouth a piece of spider webbing that hung nearby. He quickly circled around Dinkus until the slug cousin was all wrapped up and immobilized.

Dorkus Slimed up to Artimus with a mean look on his face. Artimus just smiled at him and pointed behind Dorkus. The snail cousin turned just in time to see a dandelion fall pinning him beneath it. Fliber-di-jibid stepped out from around the toppled weed and joined his brothers standing before the evil wizard. Archimertyl began chanting an incantation in some long forgotten tongue. But clever Artimus crept slowly up to the pill bug and loudly said 'BOO!'. The startled pill bug rolled up into a ball and was too frightened to do anything.

Laughing the three brothers freed princess Wobble-di-gong, each received a kiss on the cheek (yes, snails have cheeks) as payment for their bravery, and escorted her home to her father.

And they all lived happily ever after.