Huber Apple Orchard and Self Discovery

On Monday, Mutti, Rudy and I went to visit a sort of park, I guess you could call it. The Huber Apple Orchard is a historical place that has been preserved as a monument to the Huber family and a simpler way of life. To tell you the truth, I really don't know much about the Huber's or their way of life. I was too busy thinking about my own.

Something about that place, or my state of mind, or maybe both, made it fertile ground for learning, for discovering. I came away from that visit a different person-much like a good visit to the temple. It reminded me of a quote in the lesson I taught last Sunday. Speaking of Liberty Jail, B.H. Roberts says, "It was more temple than prison, so long as the Prophet was there. It was a place of meditation and prayer....Joseph Smith sought God in this rude prison, and found him."

Though this beautiful plot of land was anything but a rude prison, I understood that no matter where we seek God, we can find him. In a prison, in a temple, in a grove of hundred year old apple trees. Wherever we need Him, He is there. Isn't that beautiful?

During my visit, I walked in bare feet across soft earth. I felt the warmth of the sun in the pebbles beneath my toes. I leaned against a giant pine tree and looked up, finding that it had grown so tall and so dense, I could not see the top. I breathed in that moist, fresh smell that comes in the air as a mountain stream rolls by. I didn't really come upon much of anything in particular in the moment. It was more like my Spirit was taking in a breath of fresh air, exhaling the staleness that it had been subsisting upon until then.

That evening, I felt so energized and alive. It was then, as I pondered on the day's events, that I realized I had changed. I felt differently. As if something new had hatched inside of me, and was beginning to grow. Suddenly, I felt more peace and calm than I have felt for some time. It was really Zen like. Suddenly, it was ok not to be in charge of everything in my life. (Which is a really freeing outlook-since it's impossible to be in control all the time) Suddenly, I was ready to clear out all the unnessary things in my life, and make room for what really matters.

I'm still growing in that direction. Jason and I have started a physical manifestation of that attitude by slimming down our possessions. You'd be astounded at the amount of JUNK one can accummulate in 4 and a half short years. I took all the decorations off the walls today. There were probably 30 items slapped up there. In a few days, Jason and I will go through them all and decide what we really want to look at every single day. Hopefully it'll be less than 30 things. :)

For those of you who know me,you know this is HUGE. I'm the world's best pack rat. I have loved to surround myself with mementos of my life since I was a tiny kid. 3 year old movie ticket stubs on the billboard. Pictures all over the fridge. A wedding announcment here, a cool rock there, a piece of trash I picked up out of the gutter after having an enlightening thought on a run (I'm not kidding!). Well the enlightening thought I had on Monday is that I don't need all that stuff. I have a good mind, and if I ever don't, I'll have my journals. I can recall beautiful moments in my life without the aid of things crowding in on me all day. In fact, with bare walls and an increasingly orderly house, I feel I have more brain space to think, instead of having to process whats around me all the time.

For those of you who know Jason, you know that he is a VERY happy guy about my change of heart. He has tolerated my junk for almost 5 years, because he loves me and that junk was very much a part of me then. Suddenly I can let it go, and that makes home a more calming place for Jason as well as me.

So, that's what's happened to me over the last week. It's a cool feeling. A nice change. I hope we'll be able to minimize our home completely within the next couple of weeks before Jason goes back to school. Then I can just maintain it, and we can all enjoy it. Here's to a simpler life! :)