Awakening

Patience. What does it mean again?

Oh yeah...it means not getting antsy when you've had your KSL ad up for a WHOLE 24 HOURS and no one has inquired yet.

Jason and I decided that babysitting a child or two full time in our home would be a good idea for us right now. It would give us some reserves for his upcoming student teaching, help build our savings in general, and MAYBE even fund some home/yard improvement (though I'm really striving to reconnect with this realization from days gone by.)

I've prayed about it. It feels good. I just need to figure out how to 'be still', you know, and trust that God will bless us with what's right for us, when it's right for us. And not fret about 24 hours. Can you tell I'm totally trying to talk myself into believing what I'm writing!!? I'm sooo not good at sitting tight and waiting for something after I've decided I want it. After we weren't pregnant in two months of trying for Rudy, I was actually beginning to think maybe I better check out my options with fertility treatment. Sigh. I know, I need to chill. Someday I will...maybe.

Something AWESOME that's already come from this endeavor: It's given me cause to reflect on my mothering. I realized I was getting a bit derailed and I was missing RUDY amid all my attempts to be some awesome mom. Like I was ignoring him while reading some blog about spending quality time with your kids. Stupid stuff like that.

I've set a "NO SURFING" while Rudy's awake rule for myself. It has made such a GIANT difference. We play more. We laugh more. We look at each other more. I feel like I'm waking up from some blog induced coma!

My goal is to spend maybe 10 minutes in the morning and 30 minutes in the evening (before and after Rudy gets up/goes to bed) on the computer. That way I can still enjoy a past time that has been educational and inspiring to me without having it numb me to my real-life awesome family. Now I'm actually doing what I've been reading or thinking about, and it feels GREAT.

So, thats nice. Hopefully it's not the only nice thing that comes out of this search for babysitting kids, but even if it was, I think it just might be enough. :)